A Blessing In Disguise

"And He said to them, 'Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to all of creation."

Mark 16:15

Yesterday, as I was journaling outside of our room over-looking the Nile River, I began to realize that I have been more homesick than I ever thought I would be. I knew I would be at some point in time, but not so soon and not this much. I figured after two years of praying and God making it evident that I am supposed to be here that I wouldn't be so homesick. So, why am I?

The Lord quickly answered that question yesterday. There is a purpose.

Things have been slow the past week and a half. I have been busy with getting adjusted to living in Uganda, learning the culture, adjusting to time change and jet lag. Maybe I am just homesick now because what I will be doing hasn't begun yet? Maybe the homesickness will fade away once the kids return from Christmas break? I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy and thankful I am here. The Lord is evident all around me, and He has already begun to do great things. However, I realize that half of my heart is back at home.

Yesterday, I realized how much I miss my family, my friends, and the girls I coach back at home. And I realized that being around my family, friends, and the girls I coach at home brings just as much happiness in my life as the kids, families, and friends here in Uganda do. I enjoy showing the love of Christ within me to my family and friends just as much as I do to the people here in Uganda. I love ministering and loving on the kids I coach at home just as much as I love ministering and loving on the kids here in Uganda and at Upendo Christian. I remember being at home and longing to be here in Uganda. There was never a day that I didn't think about being here, and now that I am here I feel the same about being back home at times. 

So, I guess you could call it a torn heart. Half of it is at home with family and friends, and half of it is right here with the people of Uganda. I count it all as a blessing though. Simply because, the Lord has blessed me with having love for more than one place. He has blessed me with loving more than just one group of people. He is stretching my love for Him outside of my comfort zone and into the world. I realize that this is an example of Christ's love for us. He wrecked my heart when I first came to Uganda, but it was all for the better. I am learning to take Mark 16:15 more seriously than I ever have before. I am learning that, the Lord hasn't called us to one certain group of people to spread the Gospel to. He has called us to go into the world. GO. INTO. THE. WORLD. 

There you see it. There you see the purpose of having a "torn" heart. It's a blessing in disguise..

I long to show the love of Christ to everyone. Am I called to stay in Uganda past 6.5 months one day? Maybe. However, I do not know that just yet. What I do know is I was called to return to Uganda now. In other words, I am to focus on what the Lord has for me right here right now. It is over-whelming realizing I will be here for 6.5 months, but I am at peace knowing the Lord has big plans! I am at peace knowing that it's a good thing having my heart in two different places at once. I have longed to be here and stay here for a length of time. I have longed to love on the people of Uganda and make new relationships and spread the Gospel here in Uganda. And here I am now, right where the Lord wants me to be! I mean, who knows, my heart might be split into more than two pieces one day? Wherever I am, wherever I go, and wherever I am called - I will always follow Him. After all, we are supposed to go into the world and spread the love of Christ, right? 

- Kaitlyn